With a little help from my friends

I have friends who say that the way they raised their children successfully was to essentially form a board of directors for them — aunties, friends, grandparents, cousins — people who could offer refuge, hope, advice and friendship when the children (and later teenagers) couldn’t or wouldn’t listen to their parents.

To live in Delhi, I also needed a board of directors. Meet Mr. Ashok. After realizing that there would be many situations where English (and Spanish?) would not get me very far in navigating Delhi, I enrolled in Hindi lessons at Hindi Guru. Other Americans were amazed — “it’s such a hard language.” Well, I reasoned, Indians speak it PLUS English — shouldn’t I at least try?

Three times a week a week I made my way to Hindi Guru in Malviya Nagar, a neighborhood adjacent to Saket, where I lived, and on the way home via metro from National Law University Delhi. In those early dark and cold weeks in Delhi, Mr. Ashok and the warm water (garm paanee) I was served offered a wonderful respite. Still struggling with navigating the city, it was Mr. Ashok who taught me how to say “Bahut zada hei” when negotiating prices with autorickshaws; Mr. Ashok who taught me my main verbs in the polite form (I need — chayiyay, please give — dijeeyay), Mr. Ashok who taught me about the geography of India and the rich diversity in languages — around 22 official languages as per the Indian Constitution, but many more spoken languages (and at least 121 more languages). Mr. Ashok helped me learn enough Hindi phrases to give Uber drivers directions and to find a ready-made choli (blouse) for my sari. He explained many mysteries of India — why did all the law school security guards stand when I entered the campus? Is it true I don’t need to tip? When would it start getting warm again? Could I walk from the metro stop to Hindi Guru?

In addition to Mr. Ashok’s support and advice, there were many other members of my Living in Delhi Board of Directors: the Jaipur Literature Festival buddies (thanks Charlotte and Rhone for listening to 5,000 stories about cross-cultural adjustment situations); my landlord, Mrs. Gulati (thanks for hiring and giving careful directions to my cook every day on what dal and curry to make and for advising me on the high cost of electricity); Mrs. Gulati’s maid Regina (thanks for putting on my very first sari); my meditation sangha Unified Mindfulness (thanks for teaching me about “don’t know mind”); Chris, Yashvi and Supriya (thanks for teaching me about Uber Premier, taking me to an Indian tailor, teaching about Croc sandles, and including me in your get-togethers); my driver, Henry (thanks for endlessly repeating Hindi phrases for me to learn and taking me everywhere in Delhi); my friends from home (thanks for experimenting with Marco Polo videos to keep me update on home); my Jamia Millia Islamia friends (thanks for rescuing me my first night in Delhi when I couldn’t find an ATM or food and you drove all the way to my guest house to take me out to dinner); my friends and colleagues at NLU Delhi (thanks for your interest in my work and for forgiving any blunders I made); my wonderful colleague Bharti Yadav (thanks for collaborating with me and inviting me to your home); my yoga teacher Sonakshi (thanks for being strict yet kind and telling me that yes, in fact, I could do chakrasana); my friend Swasti for helping me with my presentations on writing; my friends Lalit Goel and Michael and Ann Williams for hosting me and connecting me to the wonderful Mount Carmel Schools for my NLU Delhi class; and and my wonderful neighbors Jyotika and Rishabh (for inviting me into their home, telling me where to buy my first sari, and coming to my party with a special cake that said “India will miss you”).

I could not have gotten by without a little help from my friends.

With a little help from my friends

Fulbright Magic

Darshan